Don't Hate, Appreciate

Growing up as an only child I always felt like one of the adults. I spent most of my time with older people; I really didn’t have any friends and kids my age picked on me. I wanted so badly to “grow up”, be an adult, and not have to deal with all the unfair hardships of childhood.
By the age of thirteen I was a high school student with a part time job. I wanted to help my family out so I started paying for some of my own toiletries and clothes. I would go out with my friends and use my own money. It was nice. I felt a sense of independence. I liked not having to bother my parents for funds on trivial things. I still had trouble with authority. I did not appreciate being treated like a child, especially by adults that I felt had no moral standing to do so. I still longed for adulthood where I could stay out past curfew, make my own decisions, take care of myself, and not have anyone to answer to.
I realized before I graduated high school that I would never stop having to answer to people, in reality, there would be even more people to answer to as an adult. I was seventeen and a full time college student. My eighteenth birthday was steadily approaching and I was scared. All those years spent wishing my life would pass me by and I quickly became aware that those years not only passed me by, but they flew by at warp speed. What would I be left with? Bills? Taxes? Hardship? This is not what I was wishing for, was it? I take it back! I take back my wish! I don’t want to be old; you can keep your responsibilities!
My eighteenth birthday rolled around, laced with depression and anxiety. Here it is. Adulthood. Not much changed, I had already been paying taxes since I started working so long ago, I was used to taking orders from bosses and professors, and with all the work and school I had on my plate I couldn’t afford the lack of sleep that paired with staying out late. I let myself grow up too fast. But instead of dwelling on what I missed out on as a child I had to decide to just make the best out of every moment from there on.
Take the time to appreciate what you have.

Comments

  1. Shai MonaiMarch 8, 2012 at 6:20 PM

    I love this! I can relate to your feelings. When you're younger, you have no idea of the obstacles that are to come. But, hey, that's life!(:

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sandra De SantiagoMarch 11, 2012 at 1:18 AM

    Its tough but i like the feeling of being independent and knowing i can take care of myself with out needing anyone.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ashley M. CarcamoMarch 12, 2012 at 10:39 PM

    I thought the same way. I still look to being independent but yes not much changed but wow you went all out at a young age! Very cool.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ale landerosMarch 13, 2012 at 9:48 PM

    I thought the same thing and once I had it I kinda didnt want it anymore, I agree with what you say good blog.

    ReplyDelete

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